And now for something completely different. (This recipe is for all you Monty Python fans out there, and of course, for cucumber lovers everywhere.)

I found this recipe from Chef John one day when I was trying to find yet another way to use the triple pack of English cucumbers we had just purchased at Costco. I knew I could always build a traditional Greek salad, Sunomono salad, or a sliced cucumber salad with a sour cream or Greek yogurt, dill, and red onion dressing. (Recipes on this site BTW.) But I wanted a cucumber salad that was just a bit different for a change. So, I went on an exploratory mission. And this is what I found.

This salad immediately appealed to me because I love rice vinegar, soy sauce, and sesame oil in combination. Plus, I trust Chef John’s recipes. So, in my naivety, I assumed this was a new type of salad invented by Chef John. (I obviously don’t get out often enough.) Because now that I have done some additional research, I’ve learned that smashing cucumbers is an ancient Chinese practice. And pairing a spicy dressing with the coolness of the lowly cucumber is also found in Middle Eastern and various European cuisines. Who knew? Not me, that’s for darn sure.

Anyway, now that I do know, there is no stopping me. Not only is preparing a smashed cucumber salad a quick and easy accompaniment to all kinds of entrées, it allows one to relieve any frustrations one might be feeling at the time by whacking the hell out of a vegetable. Therefore, I see no downsides to this dish. And the fact that one article about smashed cucumber salad called it “all the rage” I find very comforting too. Frankly, I can’t think of any better way to exhibit rage in a socially acceptable manner than by preparing this salad.    

So, if you too would like to serve a quick and easy, but uniquely delicious salad, while at the same time relieving stress, this is the recipe for you.

As always, stay happy and healthy.

Peace and love to all.

1 English cucumber, washed and both ends removed

¾ tsp. kosher salt

½ tsp. granulated sugar

1 clove garlic, finely crushed or grated

1 T. rice vinegar

1 tsp. soy sauce

1 tsp. toasted sesame oil

tiny pinch crushed red pepper flakes

1 T. toasted sesame seeds, opt. garnish

Wrap the cucumber in plastic wrap to minimize splattering. Place on a work surface and pound with a flat object (like a meat pounder) until cucumbers crack and are slightly flattened. Remove from plastic.

Cut cucumbers in half lengthwise. Then cut into 1 to 1½ -inch wide pieces. (The chunks should not all be the same size.) Transfer to a strainer set over a bowl.

Sprinkle cucumber with salt and sugar; mix until well combined. Refrigerate the bowl and strainer for 30 to 60 minutes to allow cucumber pieces to release some of their liquid into the bowl.

Whisk the garlic, rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, and red pepper flakes together in a medium sized salad bowl. Transfer drained unrinsed cucumbers into the bowl with dressing. Toss to coat.

Cover and refrigerate for about 30 minutes to allow flavors to mingle. Stir again before serving and garnish with sesame seeds.

Please note: This salad is wonderful the next day too. So, it’s fine to make it a day ahead.